Monday, January 22, 2007

Its one of those phases in life i guess...
Here I am, at 4.38am in the morning, with the world peacefully asleep around me, i'm wide-awake, both content yet disconcerted by the peace around me.

Like D said, it's awesome to have nothing to do, but it totally sucks to be unemployed.
I may have the luxury of sleeping when i want and waking up when i want, but i unfortunately am not earning a single cent all throughout that time i enjoy such a privilege.

Still no responses so far, and the way things are going, if anything's gonna happen, i'll only get employed after CNY.

Its funny though, on the outside it seems like i don't really have a care in the damn world. I do what i want, when i want, how i want and am answerable to no one.
Yet in the loneliness of the night, i lie in bed, looking up at the ceiling letting my thoughts pan out and drift around in front of my eyes, i'm haunted by the reality that i'm perhaps not as carefree as i seem to be when the world watches.
I don't want to sound noble coz i seriously think that's one of the last things on my list at the moment, to let my insecurities haunt me only when there's no one to judge me by it, so that the people i hold dear and care about me can still sleep in peace thinking i'm ay-okay, if i were that noble i probably would not be typing it all out on a public blog where everyone can view.
Yet that's exactly what people do with a blog don't they? They shout out their innermost whispers to the world, behind the anonymity of truetype fonts. And here i am, part of the status quo, telling my "Dear diary, today..." story to the keyboard, eyelids held up by my nocturnal epiphanies.
This insomnia is deeply troubling me. Only going to sleep when the world wakes up is only novel for a while, i've reached an age where i know there are better things i should be doing with my life, so being unconscious while the rest of the country is at its peak of productivity is not something i would consider hip. I need to get my life back, and get it in order.

Its funny then that i keep telling myself that the solution to my problems is that elusive call from a potential employer. I keep sending out my applications but i get no responses, and considering writing these cover letters is already enough of a chore to make it a dis-incentive. Its worse that it would seem that i'm running out of options so much so that the applications i'm sending out tend to be stuff i don't mind doing, but aren't entirely that interested, so much so i always seem to run out of words to say in my cover letter - which would mean i'm unable to convincingly sell myself in my cover letter and in turn suggests that i have lost half the battle for employment.
How ironic.

Let the waiting game begin. Whoever blinks first loses.

Dr@n|xX at 4:38 AM

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Well ok...
My academic woes are over, i graduated in November, so i am now officially -unemployed-

Took a break in December for the festive period, went to KL for some shopping and r&r, and bummed around mostly. Too bad the Bad Co. year-end trip got scrapped, what fun it would've been. Would've been cutting it close for me too, the extra term of school fees my dad had to pay over and above what I spent in NZ, phew i seriously overdrew my account. Period.

L's still in Compass,
Al's still in Ezra,
D's still in UOB though he moved to Home Loans,
Shel moved to Keppelfels,
Hong's still unemployed (like me).

Been searching around for job opportunities, and I've come to the conclusion that these online application forms are made user-UNfriendly on purpose. If you survive the excruciatingly LONG load times, the instability of the scripting and coding, the frustratingly tedious data-entry methods and the questionnaires, oh the questionnaires... It's almost as if they set that hurdle there to test your initial will, so if you get past this stage, you have passed the 1st level and are worthy of their attention. Pfffftt...
I spent like 3hours filling up a form for a company that owns a local car distributorship that carries 4 major automobile brands in Singapore, and this one I bothered to try, there was another form for an airport-management authority that was perhaps even MORE tedious that i gave up before i had even filled in my name (I am sorry, I am not worthy of your attention I suppose).
I also applied for a job at a major mobile network provider, the job itself sounds interesting, but I imagine it would be extremely awkward for me if they asked and found out I was a loyal customer of their rival's network... :|
I've not gotten any responses so far, even for a job opportunity at a premium automobile company that I'm putting a lot of hope for sigh... I'm trying not to put too much hope into it, but I like the job description and the company and the brand so much I can't help it, and I know that if i put so much hope into it and I fail to get it i would end up extremely disappointed. What an irony...
Everyone tells me not to give up and that it's only my 1st month of unemployment - wtf? I understand and appreciate the don't give up part, but what the heck do you mean my 1st month? How long do you expect me to be unemployed for?!

And so my search continues... I am that half a step closer to owning my very own maybe another year's time... Sob...

Dr@n|xX at 4:57 PM