Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Oh my God, its 7 months since i last posted? My my, my laziness has found new heights i see. Its surprising i'm bothering to type in full sentences at all. Well Su Mei my old JC classmate criticized me as being a lazy blogger, wow, u mean there's such a thing now? I mean u blog when you have things to say right? I've never had a diary i penned my thoughts in, and i've never read anyone else's so i have no idea what people write in there when they've got nothing to say (wouldn't mind finding out though if anyone'd be kind enough to lend me their diary just for a few hours or so - provided u're an interesting person :P)

"27th June 2005
Today was a really boring day. A very hot and boring day. A very hot, sunny and boring day. A very hot, humid, sunny and boring day. A very hot, humid, sunny, cloudless and boring day. A very hot, humid, sunny, cloudless and ..........

28th June 2005
Today was a really tiring day. A really cold and tiring day. A really cold, windy and tiring day. A really cold, windy, sleepy and tiring day.
<..... I mean do i really need to write on?> "

I presume that'd be how my diary would look like on days i've really got nothing to say. You know, those kind of days you just want to do stuff but somehow can't get off that arse? You don't, hmm guess its just me then *shrug* strangely its these days when its boring and you're feeling lazy that you don't want to do anything productive, yet when you're really busy and bogged down with work, somehow you have this inexplicable and burning desire to want to do things. Its always when i've got reports and assignments due really soon that i want to buy a new book and finish reading it the same day. (Alot of you may experience this:) Its when i've got exams tomorrow that i want study everything else, hell i don't care, if its Accounting tomorrow i'll study Economics, i'll study Statistics, i'll study anything BUT accounting. That's assuming i want to study of course, since that inexplicable and burning desire usually wants me to do stuff that are remotely related to the matters at hand. My housemate Shivram knows all about this of course, and i'm sure he'll be very familiar with it in a good few days. Ever since he came back from exchange in the US he's been bumming around, playing Winning Eleven on the xbox, and doing everything BUT productive stuff (hell he took eons to finish a book i finished in a day), but i'm pretty damn sure when he starts his internship this Thurs and his work starts piling up he'll suddenly have this urge to do stuff. Don't ask me what, u know, stuff.

Speaking of exchange, i finally got my arse down to applying for exchange to New Zealand and getting all the exchangey stuff done like course matching, convincing dad to pay for the trip, convincing mum that her useless son won't die of bird flu there, scout for accomodation etc. Oddly enough, convincing dad was the easiest part. I had imagined i would have to convince my dad that New Zealand was the nearest place our family could afford that i wanted to go to, i'd have to convince him the wonders the trip would do to me - open my eyes to the world, expose me to different cultures and give me a global perspective that would help me in future & all that jazz - and the multitude of other stuff i'd have to wax lyrical and sound all sultry and shyte just to rub my dad the right way. Hell i was prepared to go down on my knees and grovel on his toes, hands clasping his ankles and chanting "All hail mighty Dad, ruler of the family, wise, all-knowing and benevolent" just to make sure i got my exchange. As i said, oddly enough i just asked if i could go on exchange, showed him the estimated prices and costs of living for the countries that my school has agreements with the schools there, and he pointed to New Zealand and said "That's as far as we can afford." It was at that moment i knew, no not that there was a God, i always knew that, but wait, what did i know? Ah shyte i lost my train of thought, but oh well i knew something then, better than not knowing at all *shrug*

Well well. We've come to it then. I did my paperwork, got it approved, got my accomodation approved, booked my tickets, bought my winter-wear, and i'm more or less ready to go. Somehow the 10th July departure date just feels too far away, my girlfriend would think otherwise of course :P
One of the things i'm really looking forward to exchange, is be able to completely wash my hands CLEAN of doing the house finances. Previously i was the de facto money manager, my housemates transferred the money to me, and i transferred it to the landlady, and that included things like rent and utilities.
It started out of convenience since i was usually the person who was most likely to be in Singapore since my housemates would have to go back to India over the summers and stuff, and its gone on for 2 years. I hated the job. I despised it with every fibre of my body. I hated chasing people for money when they were late. I hated holding so much of other people's money. And because my housemates transferred money to the same account i use for most of my transactions, it effectively messes up the account and i can never keep track of how much i actually spend, and i hate that, especially on months where i end up having less than i expect after transferring the rent to the landlady. I've been brought up on the virtues of being thrifty, i grew up poor since my dad never had a good education and worked his way up the corporate ladder, and he had to start out small, so i mentally keep track of how i spend (which isn't alot to start with), and considering its never failed me all these years, it absolutely vexes me to see that i end up with less than i had expected after paying the rent. Perhaps its that over-confidence of seeing that i have so much money in the account (the bulk of which isn't even mine) and unconsciously loosen my wallet. It makes me second guess, and i double check and triple check that i did not calculate the wrong amounts for my housemates and ended up short, and i quadruple check that they transferred the correct amounts of money, then i quintuple check where i had spent the money. I had doing that coz i was never good at numbers. I hate having to even think my housemates are giving me the short end of the stick, as although not giving out trust easily is one thing, distrusting someone is tantamount to disrespect and disregard of the person, and i hate that becoz living with these guys for over 2 years has made them like family. I hate having to ask my parents for more money when i don't have enough, but i can't help it coz i have to live and i simply don't earn enough from the weekend job at Willie's shop. Did i mention i hate being in charge of paying the rent?
Going to New Zealand was the perfect alibi to conveniently transfer the responsibility to someone else. Finally i don't have to worry about it. And after i transfer this responsibility, i've decided that I am also going to be a fucker. My housemates, out of fairness split the utilities down to the length of time they were in Singapore. So if everyone was there for the whole month, it goes 5 ways, otherwise if they were there from like the 15th of June to 2nd of July, i'll have to calculate their utilities for 17 days. I hate that coz i suck at numbers. And invariably they get back to me saying i made errors in calculations, or that they actually left on the 1st of July, and their share should've been for 16 days. OVER ONE FUCKING DAY?!?!?! DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH THAT FUCKING AMOUNTS TO?!?!?! I GO BACK TO JB EVERY WEEKEND, AND ASSUMING A MONTH HAS 4 WEEKS THAT MAKES EIGHT FUCKING DAYS!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I SHOULDN'T BE PAYING?!?!?
I normally calculate my share of the utilities as a month and (i'm still wondering all these years why i did that) disregard the weekends that i'm not around. So it irritates me when my housemates bitch and moan about 1 day. It vexes me even more when my housemates absolutely do not know the meaning of conserving electricity. Lights and fans in the house are almost perpetually on. And since all the rooms have air-conditioners it is everyone's right to be able to enjoy the air-conditioners, since switching on these at least 10 year old air-conditioners would i imagine consume 3 new and modern air-conditioners' worth of electricity, but hey, utilities are gonna split down 5 ways so i'm not the only one paying if i switch on for the whole damn night rite? And if i bring up that point about them keeping the air-conditioners on the whole night, their easiest excuse is that even I do it so i shouldn't be bitching. WELL I DON'T SEE WHY IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DO YOUR FUCKING PART TO SAVE ELECTRICITY WHY SHOULD I TORTURE MYSELF IN THIS FUCKING SEARING HEAT TO SAVE ELECTRICITY FOR THE SAKE OF EVERYONE? But when everyone uses the air-conditioners don't everyone lose since it's split 5 ways? Ah good point, but unfortunately i'm the idiot who disregards the weekends i'm not around, so their usage's split out to me when i don't feel justified to pay that portion. Lets not even go to the months when they're not all here and guess who's in Singapore most often since he's also the one in charge of transferring the rent to the landlady because he's the most likely in Singapore so its the most convenient, so he's the one paying the MOST of the utilities?
And after transferring the rent and utilities to the landlady, EVEN if i didn't spend alot that month that savings spent on this excess utilities i have to pay, and i end up having to still ask my dad for more money, which i hate. The fucking rising exchange rate isn't helping either.
So its good. I'm going on exchange. Someone else will have to do all this shit. I don't have to go one whole round explaining why i hate doing it and why i would like someone else to do it, even though it might not be convenient for that person since i'm the one who's usually in Singapore, and i'm the one who's been liasing with the landlady all these years etc. And i'm going to count every single fucking day i'm NOT in Singapore, and i'm sure as hell NOT going to pay a SINGLE CENT for it. I'm already spending a hell lot of my dad's money in NZ as it is, its about time i seriously do something and start to help my dad save, especially all that's happened in these past 7-8 months i haven't been posting, the lawsuits, the agony, and the terrifying prospects of my sister having to live without paternal love.
Thank you God for blessing my sister with a 2nd chance.

Sigh, it felt really good to let all that out.

Dr@n|xX at 11:35 PM