Tuesday, April 22, 2003

WOAH.... the cobwebs here are enough to suffocate an adult... Sorry, unfortunately only the usual people post messages in my message board, so it seems to me as if only a few people actually read my blog. This is for all those people who read my blog often but keep mum about it, thank you for your support. Yeah i know it sounds damn sappy, and its not as if i won the Oscars or anything, but to me its just heart-warming to know people actually read my blog, and a few (as i've just found out today) actually check for updates pretty often. *tears streaming down my face and in a slobby (if there's such a word) voice* "thank you..sniff... thank you, all of you.... sob sob...." =) Welcome to the sad short story of my life.

Push it out, fake a smile
avert disaster just in time
I need a drink, cause in a while
worthless answers from friends of mine
it's dumb to ask, cool to ignore
girls possess me but they're never mine
I made my entrance
avoided hazards
checked my engine I fell behind

Dada dada dada dada da
I fell behind
dada dada dada dada da

- Blink 182 - Story of a Lonely Guy

EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YaHoO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now i can finally worry about the not-so-important things, and enjoy the smaller things in life. I can now PROPERLY plan my budget for furnishing the new place, take time to clean up my room at home (yes at HOME in jb), lay back and watch the cars drive by on the balcony and of coz laugh at my friends at NUS who're just starting their exams now (this is for all you guys man, no offense but HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!!!!!!!! :p).

But man, the exams that just passed were NOT a quiet affair. Not one bit. Not when u decide to have jogs at midnight around bukit timah and COINCIDENTLY jog past a lonely road flanked by a graveyard and a jungle on the other; or deciding ur brain's too fried to study anymore so u go down to BP, get some Red Bull, then proceed to University Park to have a little chill out and end up being questioned and searched by the police or the multiple SARS scares throughout the whole drama...

But MAN, the police incident was hilarious. Me and Shivram decided we should chill out a while before we continued studying, so we went to BP to get some ENERGY (har! rite...) drinks at about 3am, which is quite normal for college green people. No really. So i bought 2 cans of drinks, and Shiv bought a Red Bull and a pack of biscuits. We casually strolled to University Park about 2-3mins walk away from College Green, found a little shade to sit under, and u know, talked about nothing and laughed about everything. We only sat there for about 5-10 mins when a few police squad cars came around. We didn't really care, coz i mean this IS District 9 after all, where all the rich yuppies live (no pun intended to any of the residents of District 9, NOR does it mean if u live in any other district u're NOT a yuppie, or are poor =P), so i guess it'd be natural for the police to want to keep a watchful eye on this area lest any opportunistic dick decides to test if he's (OR she's, see i'm NOT sexist =P) got the brains to circumvent home security systems and THEN perform miracles of getting away from the police alive. So we continued talking there as if the police didn't exist, they shone their flashlights from the cars at us and STILL we sat there, thinking they were just checking if we weren't some apparitions. Then 2 officers came up to us, and of coz, 2 of us, all calm and collected said hi. "A bit late for a stroll don't you think gentlemen?" That makes him sound like a yuppie policeman straight from Scotland Yard don't u think, but if u pronounce all that in Singlish u'd get a better idea of the guy heh... think "A beet late- 4 a stloll rite gentermen?" Yes, then the usual BLINDING-50,000,000-watt-flashlight-in-ur-eyes-so-you-can't-recognize-the-cop-u're-accusing-of-police-brutality treatment, the "pleese shoh mee ur ics pleese" and the intense staring (or wat looked like it from wat i could make out beyond the flashlight glare) at our plastic bags containing 3 cans of drinks and a pack of Sultan fruit biscuits but looked somewhat like C4 explosives. I casually produce my IC with no hesitation, then came the bombshell as Shivram : "IC? Err... i didn't bring my IC... its with...." as he trailed off under the strain of the extreme processing power required of his at-that-time malfunctioning brain to recall WHERE THE HECK his IC was. I swear i could've smashed my head against the wall at that time. You could hear the severe STRAIN in the officer's voice in his reply "No IC........?!" There was a little bit of a small debate of whether Shivram REALLY did have his ic as he showed his empty wallet to the officer, but for some strange reason he refused to take the wallet and check it for himself, and he kept directing Shiv "There leh? Wat's that? And that one there? No not there, THERE? And this one? ......" In the end he settled for Shivram writing down his name, FIN no. and address. Me? Oh i was just sitting there enjoying the whole scene hahahaha =D Eh, don give me that look, i mean it WAS funny man... He called back to HQ and checked us up and OBVIOUSLY we turned up green, unless u count the massacre and mass culling (no really, it was a manifestation of our evil side, imagine me and Shiv laying all our weight on our index finger that happened to rest on a thieving ant, then while we twisted our index finger in all kinds of directions to make that "Ueeee ueee" squeaking sound on the counter and laughing "muaahhhahahahah") of ants in our kitchen as a crime... He obviously wasn't convinced that we were just people in the wrong place at the wrong time, so he asks us to declare whatever possessions we had before he searched us. Shivram as usual had nothing on him, his wallet cannot even be considered an object, but i was just hoping that a bloodstained glove or a vibrator dildo would somehow apparatte (yes, its the word from Harry Potter) into his pockets. He searched us and i could've SWORN i heard a sigh of sorts that he couldn't act like a suave NYPD cop mouthing off the robotic "You have the right to remain silent.....", and whatever i say would be interrupted by a curt "Tell that to the Judge u creep..." when we came up empty. From then on our experience got a little friendlier as he became apologetic at being gruff earlier. We enquired at what was going on but he refused to tell us, instead throwing the question back at us by saying "We don't know what happened, that's why we're asking you if u heard anything or saw anything." I was like er? I saw a bush, i saw Shiv, i saw grass, i saw the sky? What u want to know? No of course i didn't say all that, i wasn't as retarded as Shiv. So at the end of it all, "Tank You Gentermen, sorry for all inconvenience, it is very late oredi, i think its safer for both you and us if you stay home ya?" We stayed on for another 5mins watching more squad cars go by, laughing about some possible scenarios had we done things differently, and finished our drinks. We never did get back to studying when we got home.

Some of the things we laughed about were worth mentioning actually. Things like WHAT would've happened had we decided to walk away just when the squad cars came, or better still, start RUNNING when the officers came out of their cars. Or as the idiots we were, we actually considered fabricating this story about us seeing this man running past us while we were walking towards Uni Park. We'd cock some insane description (reminiscent of Johnny English), and send the whole police force all over Singapore looking for a bogus one-armed, 8-foot-tall, knock-kneed, 50'ish man with flaming orange hair and a glow-in-the-dark nose-ring. Of course we were also hoping that Prez Nathan would declare martial law coz a madman was on the loose (for wat crime i haven't foggiest idea) so our exams could be pushed back a little bit. =)

I remember some nonsense talk me and a few friends had during the exams after watching the indescribably stupid Starship Troopers. The only reason why such a movie COULD'VE won an Oscar would be because of Denise Richards. Yes, we agreed she was a bitch in the movie, but we both gave in that she looked stunning in the movie. We somehow came to the topic of WHAT IF Denise Richards came to SMU as a visiting prof and gave a module of like err... i dunno....The Art of Using Your Physical Assets in Persuasion. Boy, we all would be bidding ALL our e-dollars for her ONE course, have consultations everyday "Erm prof, are u free today for lunch? I've got some questions to ask you regarding...." Best of all we'd all fail her course ANYWAY after all those consultations and one-on-one drilling sessions so we have to take the course again next term. See? Exams DO help, they bring out the creativity in people. Even in the stifling environment with exam stress, we still take time to relax and work the right-lobe of our brain. Heck, we had so many breaks - we the morons of CG, we had breaks from work, we had breaks from studying, we had breaks from practicing sample questions, we had breaks from taking breaks even.

Shiv, if u're reading this, i apologize for all the bad things i said about you all the time and in this blog as well, you know i meant it. And please take care of your keys, losing keys twice in one week reflects very badly on your intelligence, ESPECIALLY when you have this tendency leave the key in after unlocking the door on the OUTSIDE. Oh by the way, your laundry's dry and ready to bring in from the clothes lines, it didn't rain today, so they didn't get wet, i mean the raining HAD to stop sooner or later rite? And when it stopped, ur clothes would dry rite? Simple logic, EVERYONE knows the longer u leave ur clothes out the more likely they'll dry. =D

Happy Holidays SMU'ians.

Dr@n|xX at 8:32 PM