Thursday, October 27, 2005

Thank you God for helping me get through this morning's paper.
I was tired, i was distracted, i was down-trodden, and i was ill-prepared, but somehow You helped me stay focused for 3 hours and added a few megabytes of memory to my otherwise useless brain for remembering exam-related mumbo-jumbo.
You sent Jason back early so that he could check his mail and replied promptly so that i wouldn't be left hanging, but why are You testing me so hard? Have i not been worthy all my life?

Jason's reply was fast probably because it didn't require much time at all.
"YS : There is nothing else i can do."

I emailed the lady in charge of local exchange, begging her to take into account my circumstances and allow me to squeeze into next term's exchange enrolment. Even if she sees my way (i pray she does), that is subject to the approval of my appeal of taking a core module on exchange...
What else do you have in store to test me God? Do You not see that this is torture for me? And what could possibly have been done differently? That i should've seen everything clearly before this and never have made any mistake? That coming to New Zealand should never have been? To make me stronger? From what? I already expect so little from anyone even myself to avoid disappointment, and i have to give up all hope in order to never be disappointed ever again?

Why?

Dr@n|xX at 8:53 AM